Declan - 21 - From Newcastle, UK, now at Exeter University

 

brutereason:

gruntledandhinged:

brutereason:

gruntledandhinged:

So I’m reading Why Does He Do That, and in general, it’s not bad. I am learning things that appear to be true! but like…he appears to totally ignore the option that women can abuse men?? He notes that in same-gender relationships abuse can occur, but aside from one aside (“men know it’s embarrassing to say they’ve been abused by a woman”) he completely fails to consider it a possibility. 

Since the book is about controlling/abusive men, I could possibly let this slide, but he does discuss that a number of abusers will say they have no choice because they were abused by women, or use ‘I was abused, I can’t be mean, rescue me!’ as a manipulation trick. So he warns women away from accepting this blindly.

But like…it’s VERY IMPORTANT that “I am an abusing abuser who is telling you this fake story of abuse to make you not leave me/trust me” and “I am a guy who is opening up to you about abuse in my past, something that society doesn’t treat well in men” do not get swapped for each other.

And Bancroft’s heuristic seems to be “well, men know it’s embarrassing to admit abuse, so if he admits it early in the relationship, be nervous, women, and consider you might need to run away!” Which…I could see replicating really dangerous memes about how men shouldn’t talk about abuse and men who do are Bad. 

This reminds me of horrible advice I’ve seen to never date people who have been abused because they are supposedly more likely to become abusers themselves.

I don’t know the stats on this so I don’t know if it’s true, and I also think that everyone should be able to have their own boundaries about who to date and so on, but promoting advice like this just further stigmatizes abuse survivors as broken.

YEAH. Bancroft claims (though I don’t see a citation, it does jive with what I’ve heard in classes before) that the correlation is extremely weak. Especially with many other ways to find strong-correlation red flags, this seems like a terrible heuristic that would also make it harder for men to open up to partners and potential partners. 

Yes, this is why it’s so important to teach people to recognize potential abusiveness (or at least extreme shitty partner-ness) in people as early as possible. It can be extremely difficult to leave an abusive relationship, but it is usually not very difficult to, say, choose not to go on a second date with someone because some of the stuff they said or did just…didn’t sit right with you. And obviously men can learn to recognize these red flags too.

peterpayne:

Pretty sure there’s a typo on this page.

at first I didn’t get why it was significant because I thought it was just “greyness” spelled wrong and I stopped reading, stupid american spellings.

peterpayne:

Pretty sure there’s a typo on this page.

at first I didn’t get why it was significant because I thought it was just “greyness” spelled wrong and I stopped reading, stupid american spellings.

I don’t get this whole “professional gaming is a sport” thing. Like, it’s not. Sports are athletic. BUT just because it’s not a sport doesn’t decrease its value, chess isn’t any less impressive just because it isn’t a sport.

If anything, all these “games are sports” crowd are doing is completely depreciating their own medium. It’s like those pretentious assholes that are all “it’s not a comic, it’s a graphic novel!” like no, it’s a comic, a graphic novel is a specific format and a sport is something athletic.

Professional gamer’s aren’t athletes, they’re incredibly freaking talented and incredibly impressive but that isn’t a qualifier for sports. 

ahahahaha very funny android users, listing the “new” functions like half of it’s not stuff I had on my iPhone 4.
Here’s the thing android users seem to like to ignore, to get the same features/specs on an android it costs more (at least here in the UK it does) iPhones are also incredibly reliable, they work brilliantly (if you don’t include the short battery life which is only a problem for the idiots that don’t read the instructions - a lot of people don’t charge their phone properly when they first get it, and they never properly close the apps, just minimise them) I’ve used androids before, they’re very clunky and slow. 
I couldn’t give a crap who gets features first, apart from apple maps, the iPhone does this wonderful thing of not including features until they work properly. The amount of times I’ve heard people with androids brag about their new phone and then two weeks later they’ve been complaining about how it doesn’t work properly is kind of hilarious… Even more hilarious is the amount of ex android users I’ve known who went and bought an iPhone even before their contract was up.

ahahahaha very funny android users, listing the “new” functions like half of it’s not stuff I had on my iPhone 4.

Here’s the thing android users seem to like to ignore, to get the same features/specs on an android it costs more (at least here in the UK it does) iPhones are also incredibly reliable, they work brilliantly (if you don’t include the short battery life which is only a problem for the idiots that don’t read the instructions - a lot of people don’t charge their phone properly when they first get it, and they never properly close the apps, just minimise them) I’ve used androids before, they’re very clunky and slow. 

I couldn’t give a crap who gets features first, apart from apple maps, the iPhone does this wonderful thing of not including features until they work properly. The amount of times I’ve heard people with androids brag about their new phone and then two weeks later they’ve been complaining about how it doesn’t work properly is kind of hilarious… Even more hilarious is the amount of ex android users I’ve known who went and bought an iPhone even before their contract was up.

So i’ve been happily avoiding supernatural since it became so shit I couldn’t even watch it out of loyalty to the first few seasons anymore… But “Deanmon” are you fucking kidding me? It sounds like a 5 year old naming a digimon after themselves.

The more and more I hear about the latest seasons of this show the worse and worse it actually sounds.

shinygays:

Fox News is so incredily diverse. Look at all the color: eggshell, mayo, flour, starch, bleach, cauliflower

they’re not just all white, they’re all blonde too… it’s like Hitler’s vision come to life in one of the most powerful news networks in the entire world… if that doesn’t frighten you, then you frighten me.

shinygays:

Fox News is so incredily diverse. Look at all the color: eggshell, mayo, flour, starch, bleach, cauliflower

they’re not just all white, they’re all blonde too… it’s like Hitler’s vision come to life in one of the most powerful news networks in the entire world… if that doesn’t frighten you, then you frighten me.

animalaspects:

animalaspects:

Here are some wonderful facts about Sea World’s orcas!
The average lifespan of wild orcas ranges from 30-50 years, although some females can easily make it past 80 (a wild orca named J2 or ‘Granny’ is 103 this year!). The lifespan of a Sea World orca is around 25 years, the median age being 9. But at least they put on a good show!
Don’t worry, collapsed dorsal fins are a common condition, although in the wild only sick or injured orcas have collapsed dorsal fins. All of Sea World’s males and some females have it, it makes them look unique! 
The size of Sea World’s tanks compared to an orca is about the same as a human to a bathtub. Lot’s of room to stretch and move!
Wild orcas swim 100+ miles a day, they would have to swim around their tank 1,400+ times a day to achieve that. But that seems like a lot of work, and you may see the animals hanging out near the surface of the water or on the bottoms of their tanks for hours. That’s a lot more relaxing than swimming all those miles!
Sea World gives their orcas a Valium-like drug to stop the whales from acting aggressively towards each other and to numb their minds from their vastly uninteresting concrete tanks. Buying a ticket to Sea World is an excellent way to help them pay for these drugs that they pump their animals full with!
Many captive orcas show abnormal behaviors like head bobbing, chewing on concrete, and self mutilation by banging their heads into the side of the tank. Obviously just temper-tantrums! Silly things.
In the wild, there has been only one orca attack. Bad orca! While in captivity, there have been over 100 attacks and 4 deaths. These animals just need more training, it couldn’t possibly be related to their confinement! 
Food is used as reinforcement for tricks. Do a trick, get your dinner. Don’t want to do a trick? I guess you don’t eat tonight you stubborn thing! 
See? Sea World isn’t as bad as people make it out to be! Oh, one more fact: for every $1,000,000 Sea World makes, about $600 goes into conservation efforts (about $0.5 a ticket). I’m so glad they care about conservation of the ocean! Amazing work!
Sources: (x) (x) (x) (x)
If you haven’t realized it yet, this post is 100% sarcastic. It should be obvious, but not everyone understands sarcasm…

Please don’t let this die

animalaspects:

animalaspects:

Here are some wonderful facts about Sea World’s orcas!

  • The average lifespan of wild orcas ranges from 30-50 years, although some females can easily make it past 80 (a wild orca named J2 or ‘Granny’ is 103 this year!). The lifespan of a Sea World orca is around 25 years, the median age being 9. But at least they put on a good show!
  • Don’t worry, collapsed dorsal fins are a common condition, although in the wild only sick or injured orcas have collapsed dorsal fins. All of Sea World’s males and some females have it, it makes them look unique! 
  • The size of Sea World’s tanks compared to an orca is about the same as a human to a bathtub. Lot’s of room to stretch and move!
  • Wild orcas swim 100+ miles a day, they would have to swim around their tank 1,400+ times a day to achieve that. But that seems like a lot of work, and you may see the animals hanging out near the surface of the water or on the bottoms of their tanks for hours. That’s a lot more relaxing than swimming all those miles!
  • Sea World gives their orcas a Valium-like drug to stop the whales from acting aggressively towards each other and to numb their minds from their vastly uninteresting concrete tanks. Buying a ticket to Sea World is an excellent way to help them pay for these drugs that they pump their animals full with!
  • Many captive orcas show abnormal behaviors like head bobbing, chewing on concrete, and self mutilation by banging their heads into the side of the tank. Obviously just temper-tantrums! Silly things.
  • In the wild, there has been only one orca attack. Bad orca! While in captivity, there have been over 100 attacks and 4 deaths. These animals just need more training, it couldn’t possibly be related to their confinement! 
  • Food is used as reinforcement for tricks. Do a trick, get your dinner. Don’t want to do a trick? I guess you don’t eat tonight you stubborn thing! 

See? Sea World isn’t as bad as people make it out to be! Oh, one more fact: for every $1,000,000 Sea World makes, about $600 goes into conservation efforts (about $0.5 a ticket). I’m so glad they care about conservation of the ocean! Amazing work!

Sources: (x) (x) (x) (x)

If you haven’t realized it yet, this post is 100% sarcastic. It should be obvious, but not everyone understands sarcasm…

Please don’t let this die

i move out sunday and i’ve barely packed at all, this aint good

unicornsandtruckerhats:

queercorn:

I want lgbt book stores, lgbt coffee houses, and lgbt theaters to replace lgbt bars as centers of community, places to meet people, and lgbt rights of passage.

YES. i am so fucking TIRED of every queer event being at a bar or another 21+ venue, especially when alcoholism is a thing for so many, esp. queer youth, and community isolation is such a major factor in so many suicides.

(Source: straightallies)

arabbara:

R.I.P. The 2976 American people that lost their lives on 9/11 and R.I.P. the 48,644 Afghan and 1,690,903 Iraqi and 35000 Pakistani people that paid the ultimate price for a crime they did not commit

brsis:

achievementhugger:

thebabbagepatch:

ilacktact:

mycosmicreality:

adeyami:

US students will be able to shield themselves during school shootings with the latest in body armour, the Bodyguard Blanket
http://goo.gl/WwvECT
Are fucking kidding me? I have been sitting at home and constantly watching the news after the events of yesterday. For those of you who are wondering, I am a junior at REYNOLDS HIGH SCHOOL! I was there when the shooter kept running in the halls trying to open the doors and get in. I was there in the dark praying and crying while my librarian kept saying ” they’ll have to kill me before they touch my kids” I have known her for three years, her determination to keep us safe broke her heart. Seeing this, that little children need protection in school. Are we sending kids to a battlefield? I have three little brothers ranging from 5-10, and still people have the nerve to speak about the second amendment? Really? I can’t even type anymore. I’m so disgusted and frustrated. When will you realize that it’s important to have gun control? When a shooter is pointing a gun at your child? Is that when you’ll realize that guns aren’t something to be kept around. People say it’s a free country but honesty, this country is more oppressed and diseased than any other country.

Show me ONE instance where gun control and gun free zones prevented school shootings.



Let me tell you guys a story. In 1996, in a little town in Australia called Port Arthur, a gunman killed 35 and injured 23. This place was a tourist attraction, with plenty of visitors and locals going about their business. 35 people died.That’s 35 marriages, anniversaries, birthdays or uni degrees. 35 people left Port Arthur in body bags.At the time, we had a pretty conservative government, and the Prime Minister at the time (in hindsight) was kind of a dick. But within two weeks of the shooting, Howard instituted a massive reform and buyback of all firearms. 
But it must be a statistical flaw, you say, there weren’t that many massacres before 1996, right? No, WRONG. In the eighteen years leading up to Port Arthur, there had been 13 mass shootings. 
But April, you ask, this couldn’t possibly have worked could it? Wouldn’t it only have reduced the mass shootings? WRONG.Since 1996, there have been ZERO mass shootings. That’s right, ZERO. FUCKING ZILCH. There have been scattered homicides, however:
How many schools have been raided and children murdered? NONE.How many film buffs have been murdered in their seats? NONE.How many innocent lives have been lost to the barrel of a gun? NONE.
On top of this, homicides involving the use of guns, and youth suicide involving the use of guns has declined dramatically, by up to 60%
Australia, however much the environment tries to kill you, is a safe haven, and you can walk the streets with 99% assurance that you won’t fall victim to a drive by shooting.
Your move, America.

in 1987 a lone gunman killed 16 people, wounded 15 and then committed suicide. within six months the uk government passed an amendment to the firearms act effectively outlawing all high calibre, high frequency, high capacity rifles and shotguns.
in 1996 another lone gunman killed 16 children and their teacher, and then committed suicide. again within six months the uk government outlawed all handguns. special dispensation had to be issued in order to hold shooting competition as part of the 2012 olympic games, and british hopefuls had to train overseas.
you can legally own certain types of shotgun, .22 calibre rifles over a certain barrel length, and antiques. that’s it.
in the nigh-on twenty years since the uk has had one mass shooting. one. and we’re down to about 30 gun-related deaths annually.
there is not one example of gun control laws reducing mass shootings and gun-related homicide. there are dozens. it literally works every time. the usa is the anomaly not because it didn’t work but because it hasn’t tried.

brsis:

achievementhugger:

thebabbagepatch:

ilacktact:

mycosmicreality:

adeyami:

US students will be able to shield themselves during school shootings with the latest in body armour, the Bodyguard Blanket

http://goo.gl/WwvECT

Are fucking kidding me? I have been sitting at home and constantly watching the news after the events of yesterday. For those of you who are wondering, I am a junior at REYNOLDS HIGH SCHOOL! I was there when the shooter kept running in the halls trying to open the doors and get in. I was there in the dark praying and crying while my librarian kept saying ” they’ll have to kill me before they touch my kids” I have known her for three years, her determination to keep us safe broke her heart. Seeing this, that little children need protection in school. Are we sending kids to a battlefield? I have three little brothers ranging from 5-10, and still people have the nerve to speak about the second amendment? Really? I can’t even type anymore. I’m so disgusted and frustrated. When will you realize that it’s important to have gun control? When a shooter is pointing a gun at your child? Is that when you’ll realize that guns aren’t something to be kept around. People say it’s a free country but honesty, this country is more oppressed and diseased than any other country.

Show me ONE instance where gun control and gun free zones prevented school shootings.

image

Let me tell you guys a story.
In 1996, in a little town in Australia called Port Arthur, a gunman killed 35 and injured 23. This place was a tourist attraction, with plenty of visitors and locals going about their business. 
35 people died.That’s 35 marriages, anniversaries, birthdays or uni degrees. 35 people left Port Arthur in body bags.
At the time, we had a pretty conservative government, and the Prime Minister at the time (in hindsight) was kind of a dick. But within two weeks of the shooting, Howard instituted a massive reform and buyback of all firearms. 

But it must be a statistical flaw, you say, there weren’t that many massacres before 1996, right? No, WRONG. 
In the eighteen years leading up to Port Arthur, there had been 13 mass shootings. 

But April, you ask, this couldn’t possibly have worked could it? Wouldn’t it only have reduced the mass shootings? WRONG.
Since 1996, there have been ZERO mass shootings. That’s right, ZERO. FUCKING ZILCH. There have been scattered homicides, however:

How many schools have been raided and children murdered? NONE.
How many film buffs have been murdered in their seats? NONE.
How many innocent lives have been lost to the barrel of a gun? NONE.

On top of this, homicides involving the use of guns, and youth suicide involving the use of guns has declined dramatically, by up to 60%

Australia, however much the environment tries to kill you, is a safe haven, and you can walk the streets with 99% assurance that you won’t fall victim to a drive by shooting.

Your move, America.

in 1987 a lone gunman killed 16 people, wounded 15 and then committed suicide. within six months the uk government passed an amendment to the firearms act effectively outlawing all high calibre, high frequency, high capacity rifles and shotguns.

in 1996 another lone gunman killed 16 children and their teacher, and then committed suicide. again within six months the uk government outlawed all handguns. special dispensation had to be issued in order to hold shooting competition as part of the 2012 olympic games, and british hopefuls had to train overseas.

you can legally own certain types of shotgun, .22 calibre rifles over a certain barrel length, and antiques. that’s it.

in the nigh-on twenty years since the uk has had one mass shooting. one. and we’re down to about 30 gun-related deaths annually.

there is not one example of gun control laws reducing mass shootings and gun-related homicide. there are dozens. it literally works every time. the usa is the anomaly not because it didn’t work but because it hasn’t tried.